Santa Claus admits desire to move further south
BABBLERS PRESS - A local employee of the tax department says he was fully prepared to depart with 50 per cent of his income to help the less fortunate but has since learned the church doesn't require near that much..
"I had told the Lord that I would give half of my income to feed the poor and that if I had cheated anyone out of their hard earned money I would give them four times as much in return," said the man who was often bullied in school because of his short stature. "But then I went to a local church and the pastor preached on tithing, saying that ten per cent was all the Lord required."
The man said he hasn't yet decided what to do with the other 40 per cent which he had earmarked for those who were experiencing something significantly less than prosperity.
"I could certainly use a vacation," he said, "Tax season is just around the corner and my stress level is rising just thinking about it."
The man further said he has also learned through various TV preachers that the poor would be rich if they only had enough faith.
"They don't really need my money, they just need to plant financial seeds in a few multi-million dollar ministries and believe God for a harvest," he concluded.
"I had told the Lord that I would give half of my income to feed the poor and that if I had cheated anyone out of their hard earned money I would give them four times as much in return," said the man who was often bullied in school because of his short stature. "But then I went to a local church and the pastor preached on tithing, saying that ten per cent was all the Lord required."
The man said he hasn't yet decided what to do with the other 40 per cent which he had earmarked for those who were experiencing something significantly less than prosperity.
"I could certainly use a vacation," he said, "Tax season is just around the corner and my stress level is rising just thinking about it."
The man further said he has also learned through various TV preachers that the poor would be rich if they only had enough faith.
"They don't really need my money, they just need to plant financial seeds in a few multi-million dollar ministries and believe God for a harvest," he concluded.
