Study Confirms Those Who Eat Food Live Longer Than Those Who Don't

BABBLERS PRESS - Despite the proliferation of studies that identify certain foods as unhealthy a ground-breaking new study has found that food consumption in general actually increases a person's life expectancy. 

The study was conducted by leading scientists from various universities. The scientists studied the effects of eating various types of food on two groups of rats over a period of several weeks. One group of rats were given food to eat. The other rats were given no  food whatsoever. The scientists are now describing the results of their study as "astonishing."

"The rats who ate food lived, while the rats who didn't eat food died," said one of the scientists. "The implications of these findings are difficult to overstate. It certainly gives us a lot to chew on."

The study comes as welcome news to the millions of people who are getting ready to stuff themselves with turkey in celebration of the birth of Christ. ​