Satan Declares ABC Campaign a Smashing Success

BABBLERS PRESS - Flanked by demonic hordes and beaming with pride during a special news conference just outside the gates of Hades Satan insists that the success of his ABC Campaign has exceeded all expectations. 

Birthed in the dark regions of The Pit, the plan has been dubbed ABC, which stands for "Anything But Christ," and is being carried out by a special contingent of demonic forces whose main goal is to distract people's attention away from the Jesus of the Bible. 

One of the demons, speaking on condition of animosity, said they have various tools at their disposal. "Of course, lies and deception form the basis of everything we do," he said. "Basically, we don't care what people do, or who they worship, as long as it's not Jesus. We try to downplay the centrality and supremacy of Christ." 

The demon went on to explain that they've focussed much attention on fostering a philosophy that says, "God can be anything you want Him to be." "He doesn't have to be Him," said the demon. "He can be She, or It, or whatever else you can think of. God can be a rock or a tree. A bottle of beer. A smoke. A special friend. Anything but Christ." 

Meanwhile, Satan says he'll be holding another press conference in the near future to discuss the progress of a related program known as "ABP" (Anything But Prayer).