Pastor Admits Weariness of Church Gets Thrown Immediately into Lake of Fire

BABBLERS PRESS - A Pastor who has struggled with stress and burn-out in the ministry probably regrets a recent public confession in which he admitted that he'd rather spend an evening fishing by a pond then to sit through another long, dry church service. 

So horrendous was the pastor's admission that God Himself changed his own prophetic sequence by making the pastor the first resident of the lake of fire. 

A heavenly spokesman said God's original plan was for the beast and the false prophet to be the first two people to experience the second death. But, he said, the pastor's admission was such a grievous sin that God changed His mind. 

"To enjoy anything, I mean anything, more than a pre-planned church service in which you get to hear things you've already heard a thousand times is probably the worst sin out there," said the heavenly messenger. "And for a man of the cloth to admit to such a sin is just unthinkable." 

The heavenly messenger admitted that long hours of sitting on pews and hard chairs can wreak havoc on a man's back, neck and shoulders, and can even "fray the nerves after awhile." But he said such suffering is minuscule compared to what the pastor is experiencing now and it's a suffering which he "totally deserves." ​