Man Believes His Car was Created by Big Bang

BABBLERS PRESS - Admitting he's had more than an average amount of trouble with his current vehicle, one local man is convinced there was no intelligent designer behind the manufacturing of his current "bucket of rust."

"It seems clear to me that there was some kind of explosion that caused four or five thousand different parts to fit together perfectly in order to produce my lemon, I  mean car," he said. The man also believes his car is  older than he originally thought. "Nobody will convince me that my car is three years old," he insisted. "If that thing is not one thousand years old then I'm not a real person." 

Apparently, using some type of scientific aging technique concocted by vehicular scientists, the man was able to date his car back to the dark ages. "It's really just a step up from a horse and chariot," he said. "In fact, I think it's obvious that cars in general are the result of an evolutionary process because chariots had wheels and people sat in them to go from place to place just like they do in modern day cars. The correlation would be obvious to anyone with a scientific mind like mine." 

Meanwhile, the car in question is currently in the garage for repairs "again." The man also admitted he once held to a theory that stated certain women were older than the age showing on their birth certificates but his wife encouraged him to "drop it or else."