Local Man declares he has nothing to be thankful for, while eating food and wearing clothes

BABBLERS PRESS - Flanked by family and friends at his favourite restaurant a local man declared he can't think of anything to be thankful for. 
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Looking perplexed and slightly distressed while chomping down on a delicious hamburger the man explained that he was baffled by his pastor's latest sermon on thankfulness, saying he just doesn't think the sermon applied to him.

His vast array of loving companions tried to console him but it was of no use. "I can understand why rich and famous people would be thankful or somebody who just won the lottery," he said. "But my life is pretty bland. So I just don't see what I have to be thankful for." 

Even while driving home in his fuel-efficient automobile with heated seats and air-conditioning the man was still looking confused. The confusion continued as he entered his three-bedroom bungalow, which has electric heat and running water. Still hungry, the man rustled through his cupboards, which were packed with tasty snacks. His beautiful wife prepared him a sandwich while he played with his kids, who are both healthy, and thought some more about the pastor's sermon. He then reclined on the sofa while breathing air and starring at a picture of the cross on his living room wall. 

"I guess somebody in the church needed that sermon," he said. "But obviously it wasn't for me." ​