Local Drug Addict, Fornicator and Booze Bag Openly Displays His Faith by Wearing a Cross Around His Neck

BABBLERS PRESS - One local "religious man" has a message to those who might question his faith by looking at his immoral lifestyle. 
"Don't just look at what I do, look at what I wear," said the man. "More specifically, take a look at the symbol hanging around my neck." 

That symbol is a wooden cross, which the man wears faithfully, even if it doesn't necessarily match the rest of his outfit. He was inspired to wear the cross after seeing a well-known actor wear one in a movie filled with sex and violence. Though the man admits he doesn't really understand the message of the cross, he knows that it's "some kind of religious symbol," which he hopes will garner him some measure of favour with "the man upstairs." 

"I realize there are some who might question my lifestyle, the drinking, the drug abuse, the sex, things like that, but I've never done anything really bad," insists the man. "I've never killed anybody, at least not intentionally. So if anybody has a problem with the way I live they can just %$#@&!." ​